The Day I Asked & the Day I didn't need to

The Day that I asked & the Day I didn't Need To

                          By Debbie King

I was raised to believe in Santa Claus.  My Mom loves Santa, my Grandmother loved Santa.  It was magical!  I remember going outside to listen for his sleigh bells & I remember really hearing them one night!  It was so thrilling!  A rush!  But as I matured although still very young, I began to question.  I couldn't imagine how it could be true; flying reindeer, going down chimneys, holding presents for the whole world in a sleigh & delivering all in a night!  I thought long & hard & finally asked.  Mom didn't want to tell me.  She asked me “do you really want to know?” & that in itself was the answer to me.  It was as I supposed. Although he was not real his spirit of giving and of joy and of love was very real. The tales that bring every child a sparkle in their eye and desire to be good were very real.

I was also raised to believe in Jesus.  My Mom loves Jesus, my Grandmother loved Jesus.  It was magical!  I remember feeling a special warm loving feeling when I did something good.  It was joy.  It was a hug from God.  As I matured, many around me began to question.  “How could someone from another planet be aware of me?”  “God doesn't listen or answer my questions so I don’t believe.”  I thought long & hard about their questions.  Something in me whispered that he does listen & answer but in ways that we don’t always understand.  His perfect understanding of me, answers my prayers in ways that help me grow & get on his good list.   Our actions place us on his lists of naughty or nice.  I didn't ask if Jesus was real because I didn't need to, but if I had asked, Mom would have said “yes he is real”.  Yes it is true.  How did she know?  In the same way that I knew.  It was a truth felt deep inside.   

 In all my days, I've seen nothing but proof of his existence.  He is the "Santa" who can be all over the world in a night giving gifts that can’t be wrapped or broken only lost if not used.  He needs no chimneys to enter but he does need good hearts.  Our eyes can be deceived but not our hearts.  Someday he will come & we will know him because he has always been with us.  We have felt him.  It’s just true.